Holidays in the Sun

That’s the title of the new album anyway. I should really get around to changing the banner but I really don’t give a damn. I recently learned that Y^2 actually found this blog. I have no idea how. Btw, hi.

The alternative would be mugging for IOC so I shall instead waste my time writing shit on the internet. See, you get disappointed when things don’t turn out the way you hoped it would. When you actually care about something (grades/scores/wins etc) you CARE about something. In that sense, if you were to, say, score 24points for mid-years. You’d be disappointed. The perfect remedy, is apathy. Just stop giving a damn. If you really think about it, it kinda takes all the disappointment out of your life. Because you don’t give a damn if shit hits the fan. On the other hand, if you don’t give a damn about anything, you probably won’t feel happy about anything either. Say, if you don’t care about your grades and you score a perfect 45, reaction –> “meh”. Thus for every event, disappointment and joy have a zero sum. The happier you could be, the more disappointed you would be.

In that case, the steps to take would seem painfully obvious, and yet many people just don’t get it. Ignore the little things. Like when a store in the SAC is not open for the day, don’t cry about it. When people don’t think you’re awesome, don’t slash your wrist. Then maybe the solution wouldn’t be to not care about anything. It’s to not care if you fail. Fail is prevalent. It’s everyone and everything around you. If you get bogged down by every fail in life, you’re stuck in one place (which incidentally is also fail) and never moving on.

To write about recent events would probably take the better part of an hour and well, I can’t really be bothered.

(Btw Y^2 I’m free to game again from 3pm on tuesday. Try more 2′s on twisted meadows, I hate that map…)

to Mother…

I’ve found a pattern in my post dates. It seems everytime YUI releases a single, I feel the urge to write something. I’m not posting about something related, it just seems that way. Anyway…

You spend half your life dreaming of something, never acting on it, or rather, not knowing how to go about it. I stumbled across something interesting today and this compelled me to write something about it. Let’s just say, it fit. It seems just right, like it’d be as close as what you’ve always dreamed of. Yet I don’t know what to do about it.

The above paragraph is confusing as hell to anyone who reads it. Heck, I don’t understand it either, because its really confusing.

Every time I write a post, I try to write one where I can look at 6 months from now and not think “…. this guy’s a dumbass.”

Gloria…

Considering that I’d be worrying about EE on top of other BS, I’m going to waste some time “blogging”.

What’s with hidden meanings and suggestive hinting? If you’re going to say it, say it. For example, if I miss my cheeseburger, I go “OMGOMGOMG I <3 MAI CHEEZEBERGER” as opposed to “TODAE I M MISSING THAT THING I MISS <3<3<3OXOOXOXOXOOXOXWTFOXOXOXOXO”

You get my point. Cynical blogging is cynical, and I’m sure nobody gives half a damn about what the hell you have to say about world domination. Wait what?

In true spirit of suggestive hinting, here’s what this post could have looked like (in CAPS of course):

“0MG SO LIEK TODAE I WENT OUT WIF TAHT PERS0N AND TAHT PERS0N WAS SO AWESOME/CUTE/COOL/SEXY/SMART/INTENSE/Adjective/Adjective2/MUAXXXXX TEHN WE HAD TEH MOAST AWESOEM TIEM TO THAT PERS0N I WAS WITH TEH HOLE DAY ILOVEYOUMUAXXAXUAXMAXMUANU9QHG08QBHG0WQEIGN SO IM GONNA TAYK A BRAEK FORM WORK AND SPAEK TO TAHT PERS0N OVER TEH FONE NOW LIEK GOMOGOMZGOMOGMOGMOZMGOMGOZMGOMZOMG”

I’m getting a headache just trying to emulate that POS so I’ll stop.
In all seriousness, say what you want to say, be honest. For example:

Please give me some attention, I enjoy being teased by friends about my so-called “boy/girlfriends” so I will now blast your face with more gossip-fodder, being vague enough so that you will quiz me relentlessly about it. Attention please. PLEASEEEE. MOAR MOAR I NEED MOAR ATTENTION

See? Honesty never hurt anyone.

As a side note, you’d think I’m going somewhere with this…And really, that ladder on the shelf doesn’t do anything for your hair. Huh?

PS; To avoid unpleasant misunderstandings, I wasn’t referring to you ^_^

d(^_^)b    o=(^_^o)    (0^_^)=o etc

You think a post script marks the end of this post?! HELL NO

(In an attempt to post something of relative value (with respect to the above trash talk about trash talk))

So you think you’ve hit rock bottom. Then life throws you a spade and say “Dig a little deeper little person. Dig! Dig!” Yeah well that’s the way things work. We need to accept the fact that “rock bottom” doesn’t exist. There’s always at least another 6 miles of shit for you to dig through. And, well, the sooner we can accept this fact, the faster we’ll learn the truth. That the best way to live life is to dig slower. Seriously, you’re pretty much in deep deep shit already. Stop digging deeper dumb@$$.

Yes, there are times when you feel like you’re 12 miles of sewage below “rock bottom” and you’re sinking deeper and deeper. Sometimes you might just get lucky and realise, that after sinking 12 miles of crap below “rock bottom”, you find that <thing you like> you were looking for. To give an example:

(A friend of mine actually felt this way)

You exist because somebody needs you (have I said this before?). Everybody wants to be needed. So sometimes you go through life thinking, “I’ve tried everything I can, I’ve given my all, and yet I’m sure they’ll not realise if I just went away.” So before wasting your life away going /wrist all day long, you find out you have made a much greater impression on your friends than you think you had.

Not everyone expresses their feelings/gratitude openly you know ^^

PPS: No “Gloria” is not some secret code between TEH ONE I LOVE and I. It’s just the name of a song. A new song released today ^^

Wow… 5.5 ’09

In all seriousness, WOW.

If I’m to write out everything that I’ve experienced it’s gonna be a reaaally long post… So I’ll not type much

If possible, I love 5.5 even more. I cannot believe how lucky I am that I didn’t change class at the start of the year. Some people already know I had a very bad impression of this class at the start of the year. Well, over the span of term 1 I’ve realised how great this class is. And now after this WoW trip, I cannot believe a class can be this awesome.

I’ve learnt so much about the people in this class and I really want to thank a few people for this experience.

And again typing this will take way too long and I just have no patience so I think I’ll stop typing right here.

Fake

I think I’ll keep this short.

 

Life is such it makes some of us decide we have to ACT

And when you put on an ACT and someone discovers the true you

You’re dead

An ACT is an ACT is an ACT

You can pretend and put on a show for the world to see

but in the end you’re still scum

Therefore my dear friend, don’t be fake.

I hate fake.

A show is a show is a show. Its meant for you to see, get a kick out of it, and if possible believe it. Don’t put on a show for the world to see. If you want something from someone, be a man and say it out. Don’t do it in an underhand manner. If you’re ashamed to let someone find out, don’t do it.

I hate fake.

Am I Wrong?

I was wrong. Yes, it is not everyday that I make such a statement so openly. But here I declare, I was wrong. Refer to the previous post when I mentioned my undisclosed problem. Turns out, I was wrong, there is no problem at all, and I did waste a lot of time and gave myself a huge load of unnecessary stress. Foolish isn’t it? How conjecture can get you thinking so hard, when you just made a wild guess. Maybe its something that will change in time.

Mmmm, change. My opinions and views have drastically changed in the past few weeks. Again, I speak of how things that I never expected to happen, happen. It’s just one of those things. Anyway, for now, I shall attempt to write on a subject I am unfamiliar with. Popularity. Is it so important? Why do people go out of their way to try and be popular, or to look popular? Is it really that great, having everybody knowing you? In a way it does help, if you’re known for something good, like the guy who is the best friend you can have. What if you’re notorious, people know you’re a jerk and you’re proud of it. Is it really that important? And then there are some that use underhand means to raise their popularity. This, in my opinion is the worst thing one can do. Ever. You try to become popular through relation, you make friends with the prettiest girl, or the most rebellious guy, in an attempt to be known as “The friend of the pretty girl”. Maybe it’s just me, or another one of my opinions that will change in the days to come. Personally, I prefer to stay lowkey.

Why do you want everyone to know you? Maybe you want to be the popular one who people want to hang around. So these people that cling to you, are they true friends? Do they really want to be friends with you? Or do they just want something from you? The paranoid cuts off all people from his life because he beleives everybody wants something from him. So I ask you, if a great number of people are trying to be friends with you, and you know almost all of them want something from you, what yould you do?

Some people hide behind masks. I think I’ve mentioned this is one of my earlier posts. People hide behind masks and do not show their true self. Recently, I’ve met people who do not just hide their self, but their intentions. Behind that guileless smile is someone ready to introduce your back to his/her knife. Always be careful, you never know when some of the people you consider your friends might stab you in the back.

Is it the quantity of friends that matter? Or is it the quality of friends that matter. When I become friends with someone, I like to believe it will be a lasting friendship, one that can survive the test of time and that will continue on a long time into adulthood. Human beings are social animals, without friends and family, we cannot survive. Everybody depends on somebody else. Everybody wants to be needed. If in this world nobody needs you, then your existence is void. But no worries, there is someone out there who needs you, and you don’t need to have a large number of friends to have that. You will know when you have made great friends. I’ve known some of mine for four years, some for seven years. These I believe are the friends that I can count on when I need help. These, I want to believe are my true friends. However, this does not mean the people that I have met recently aren’t true friends. I want to believe that the people I meet are people I can count on, and hopefully, I have already met some of the people whom I can forge a lasting friendship with.

I’ll Be

I have no idea what motivated me to make another post. I thought I had given up on this blog for good.

So far, I’ve been writing my opinions on various issues, as opposed to random nonsense on how wonderful my life has been. Again, I don’t know what has posessed me, but this time I intend to write random nonsense on how wonderfully terrible my life is.

See, we’re all stuck in this thing they call the International Baccalaureate. It’s a truly delightful mix of 6 subjects, not including TOK, EE, CAS and Hell. Yes, its nice and well-rounded. So the workload is barely manageable now but the good news is that it promises to quadraple monthly.

Anyway, the intention of this post is not to whine on and on about IB. Go back two months and tell me I would be on Facebook again. I wouldn’t have believed you. Go back two months and tell me I would gladly be in photos. Again I wouldn’t have believed you. Go back two months ago and tell me of the drastic thing people would do to achieve something. Once more I wouldn’t have believed you. Yet now here I am, on Facebook, taking random photos and having done that drastic thing. Now you tell me of the horror stories of IB, now I will believe you.

(NOTE: The following paragraph will be very vague and extremely difficult to understand. Therefore, you should stop reading here) Then there’s that one prickly issue. Again it’s something I have never believed would have happened to me. Yet it has. I think of the possible advice people will give me if I ask for help. While what they’ll tell me to do makes perfect sense, I have witnessed how following that advice has screwed someone over. The expected result is just that, expected. Its never guranteed and the risk far outweighs what might happen if it works out well. If I can actually make an accurate guess, maybe I can decide if I should follow that advice, but then making a wrong guess WILL kill you. Aaand far on the other side, I could be totally wrong about everything. Maybe it is just something that was interpreted wrongly, if thats the case then there is no problem at all, and I would have just wasted about two weeks of my life worrying about nothing.

As an aside and a final thought, is it right to tell a lie? I’ve been telling a few of these lately and I kind of regret it. I might have done some irrepairable damage… again.

My Friend

Three weeks ago, I found myself back in ACS(Independent). Good? Perhaps, I’ve seen graduates miss the school so much so I guess I could count myself lucky for still being in the school. The first two weeks don’t really count as school so lets skip that. The past week has been… well, there are no words to describe it. Murphy’s law indicates that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Well, it did and I ended up having a cousin in my orientation group (OG). For the first time in four years, I’m put into a class with new classmates. A very normal occurence for some, but something I’ve not experienced in a long time. This brings me to my next big rant.

Take a look around yourself. How much of it is real? No this is not a hypothetical TOK question. Look at the people around you. Is that who they really are? Or is that just the persona they put up for one reason or another?

In the past three weeks I’ve seen countless numbers of personas and false pretenses. You know that loud uncouth friend of yours? Have you realised (s)he is suddenly very refined and speaks with an english accent? Have you realised one of your friends suddenly became very active? Jumping around, speaking loudly, very obviously trying to draw attention? Now then, the question is why.

Actually, the answer is pretty simple, to make friends. Well, at least the intention is to make friends. As for me, I still don’t understand the need to put on an act in order to make friends. Yes it is cliche, but we should just be ourselves. Right? Right? Right?! At this point, I have made about 80% of the people who read this roll their eyes and close the page.

Then again, I’m a very anti-social person (and many people would be happy to testify). Perhaps this is just the way people make friends, perhaps this is how people are supposed to make friends.

TOKYO

Talk about an unimaginative title. Its not technically correct since I spent less than a day in Tokyo.

Whats in a holiday? What does one look for in a holiday? Maybe to see the beautiful scenery? Maybe to escape the hot/cold weather? Perhaps one wants to do a little shopping or maybe visit temples on a pilgrimage. Maybe one wants to see the country for what it is. What life is like in the holiday destination, an average day of an average person in another country. My intentions were simple, to see Japan as it is, rather than visiting sites catered for tourists, shops that sell merchandise, overly huge dinner areas with no menu or waiters, dinner areas that are catered for tour groups. I had no intention to see vast expanse of nothing. Don’t get me wrong, the scenery was beautiful, the snow-covered hilltops were breathtaking, but they were not worth sitting in a bus for 5 hours to see. Perhaps I should start on a new paragraph now, or risk giving the misunderstanding that I didn’t enjoy this trip.

This holiday made me realise many things. Most of them being how different this country is from Japan, and I’m not talking about scenery and all that jazz. Rather, I’m talking about the people and their attitudes. I shall not go into great detail or risk offending a lot of people. For one, you don’t see people sweeping the roads and/or picking up the rubbish, yet the streets remain perfectly clean. You don’t see spills or food that has accidentally fallen off and yes, people do stand on the left of the elevator. I’d go into greater detail, but like I said, I’m not going to risk offending anybody.

Besides general eye-opening, I now have an aim in life. No doubt this aim is very different from most, and it would probably be highly ridiculed, thus I shall refrain from mentioning this, perhaps until a later date. For once in my life there is something I want to be doing, a direction (albeit a little too general) I want to head. Maybe two years from now I can see if I did things the right way. In any case, I shall keep it short and end in here.

Understand

I don’t know if its just the kids (and by kids I mean <18), but it seems that some more important things in life is losing its value. I’d rather not mention what I’m referring to exactly, but it might get pretty obvious. Why do kids think they understand this concept? Why do kids flippantly use this concept? Declaring it to any person they deem slightly interesting? Why? Don’t you think it is more appropriate to use a less heavy term? Rather than throwing around a word (s)he does not understand, seeing how (s)he uses it all the time.

See, exclusivity gives value to anything. The more exclusive it is, the more value it has. Therefore, you kids casually throwing this term around has utterly devalued it, the weight of this term is now almost void. This term should rightfully be like a verbal contract. It used to make whoever hears it truly understand how the other party feels. Now its just another word, because idiots who don’t understand it use it like a band-aid, to quickly patch up a small wound in interpersonal relationships, even if its a lie.

Understand. That is all you need to do. Understand a word before you use it. If you only think you understand, don’t. Because then its a lie.